CHE BELLO thinks you’re an asshole.
from PeopleofWalmart.com
A) I’ll bet you all the money you’ve saved from your recession-depressed job building mobile homes for your hundreds of incestuous cousins with rat-tails that I’ve grabbed more tits in the past year than you have in your lifetime. Why else do you think homos would befriend so many women?
B) We drink beer too, you idiot. (Except not this one.) In fact, since we are more educated and have better jobs because we aren’t content with being morons and living in Momma’s basement our whole lives getting fat off of biscuits and gravy, we get to drink the good expensive stuff.
In short:
MARTINIS AND COCKS, MY LIFE FUCKIN’ ROCKS!
CHE BELLO wants equality.
I just wanted to pass along this video on the day when the Matthew Shepard Act was finally signed into law after a decade of legislative struggle. Phillip Spooner is a highly-decorated veteran of World War II, and his thoughts on marriage equality for gays and lesbians brought tears to my eyes. I hope you’ll take a moment to listen to his remarks and pass them on to those you can influence. We made a great deal of progress today with the stroke of President Obama’s pen, but we have a long way to go before we achieve true equality under the law.
Today is a victory for Matthew Shepard, who was brutally beaten and tortured, tied to a fence, and abandoned for 18 hours outside of Laramie, Wyoming — the sole reason being that he was gay.
Today is a victory for Angie Zapata, a transgendered woman in Greeley, Colorado who was murdered in July of 2008 for simply expressing who she was.
Today is a victory for Howard Efland, beaten to death by Los Angeles Police Department in March of 1970 after checking in to a hotel known for patronage by gay and lesbian clients.
Today is a victory for James Zappalorti, a gay Vietnam veteran who was stabbed to death in 1990. Our nation demanded the sacrifice of James serving in war, but could not treat him with dignity and respect upon his return home simply because of who he loved.
Today is a victory for Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, an 11 year old boy from Springfield, Massachusetts who hanged himself with an extension cord to escape the bullying of classmates who ridiculed him for acting feminine.
The list is seemingly endless. In order for this violence to stop, we have to develop social institutions that reinforce the equality of all people. If our government is sending the message that discrimination against gays, lesbians, and transgendered people is acceptable, how can we expect our neighbors to treat us with respect? Write to your legislators and friends about the need for the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act, the reversal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the need for comprehensive employment discrimination protection, and the need for comprehensive federal benefits for gay and lesbian couples. If we don’t hold our officials — and each other — accountable, we can’t expect change.
CHE BELLO dies laughing.
A better YouTube video never existed:
Guess they all look alike to this news bimbo?
CHE BELLO’s scary story.
In honor of Craig’s post about Paranormal Activity, I thought I’d share with you all a horrific flash from my childhood involving an otherwise not-so-scary movie. So I was maybe 13 or 14 when this fine cinematic gem was released:
I’ll refresh the plot for those of you who made the mistake of missing this one. A creepy old widow is murdered by the townspeople after they think she murdered two children who later return home safe and sound. She comes back to haunt children on the night they lose their last baby tooth — she was called “Tooth Fairy” when she was alive — but can be warded off by staying in the light. Lots of people die because they don’t believe this one guy who saw his mom get killed by her when he was young, but then he destroys her at the lighthouse, setting her soul free forevahhhh.
Aaaanyway, my dad and I went to see this movie. We came home and I went upstairs to my room. I was working on the computer with the rest of the upstairs dark when, out of the corner of my eye, I see this black flying thing whooshing toward me just like the freaky-as-hell Tooth Fairy lady. I SCREAM BLOODY MURDER, swatting the thing away. As it hits the ground, I see my dad at the top of the stairs laughing hysterically — he had thrown my black sweater into my room, knowing it would scare the bejeezus out of me.
The best part about it was our elderly neighbors — on both sides — calling the police, thinking there was some serious shit goin’ down. But you’d scream like a girl too if you thought this bitch were flying at you:
CHE BELLO is sorry.
Hi, my name is David, and I’m a perpetually infrequent blogger.
There. I admitted my problem, and that’s the first step, right? So, a brief update:
- regular posting shall hereby recommence
- Teach for America interview went really really well, I hope. I hear back on Nov. 10th about whether they hire me and, if so, where and what I’ll be teaching.
- I think Pat Buchanan is one of the most worthless people on this planet.
- You should all go find a copy of The Undeserving Poor by Michael Katz.
- I ran my first 5k this past Saturday, with an official time of 24:49. After only a month and a half of running, I’d say that’s not too shabby.
CHE BELLO wants to be European.
This commercial comes from Germany and was released in May of this year. I love European advertising, if for no other reason than that they acknowledge the fact that human beings enjoy sexual intercourse. You gotta watch it, it’s brills.
CHE BELLO is a MadMan.
Jenny, clear my schedule for the afternoon.
Stolen from Stephen’s awesomely awesome blog, you can go to the MadMen website and retro-illustrate your sexy self into a number of scenes. Betcha don’t look as good as Stephen and I, though!
CHE BELLO’s favorite lunch.
So now that I’m away from the dining hall monotony that is dormitory life, I’ve started cooking a lot more and want to share with you some of my favorite creations. There’s no telling what I’ll whip up from day to day, but you can be sure it’ll involve fresh veggies, possibly some herbs from my garden, and a lot of flavor. Feel free to comment and leave me some of your favorite recipes! And I didn’t think about it, but from now on I’ll be including pictures with any recipes I post.
Lunch should be light and tasteful and full of veggies, providing a mid-day perk-up and enough fiber to last you through the rest of the day. One of my favorite things to whip up is a zucchini, onion, and mushroom (optional) sautee; it’s quick, simple, and full of veggie goodness.
1 yellow onion
1 large zucchini
1 tablespoon of garlic chili sauce
3.5 tablespoons of soy sauce
2 tablespoons of sesame seeds
1 tablespoon of butter
(1 cup sliced mushrooms)
Chop up the onion in nice big pieces and get it started in the sautee pan with some soy sauce and the garlic chili sauce. Let it cook while you’re slicing the zucchini into nice thin medallion shapes. Add the zucchini in after you’ve sliced it, along with the rest of the soy sauce and the sesame seeds. Let it cook for about 10 minutes, stirring every once in a while. Add the tablespoon of butter (and the mushrooms, if you’re using them) and let it cook for 3 or 4 more minutes (or until the mushrooms are done), stirring to make sure that everything gets a chance to get friendly.
All you have left to do is serve and enjoy!
CHE BELLO’s boring Friday.
In the deep recesses of the Amazon River, tight to the muddy bottom, there lives a fish which locals call the paraiba, the mother of all fish. The largest one pulled in in the last ten years was eight feet long, and the massive fish have been known to swallow fishermen whole, swimming upriver for leagues with intact legs still protruding from its mouth.
Anyway, just thought that would be an entertaining tidbit for you. No larger point, no metaphoric significance, of which I am incapable on lazy Friday nights consumed with Animal Planet documentaries and escapist faux-horror films like Thirteen Ghosts.
I’ve decided I want to meet my true love at a bookstore. So if any cute gay boys are going to be visiting any bookstores in the near future, give me a heads up, please?
CHE BELLO ponders Disney.
August 1, 2009 at 12:10 pm (Uncategorized) (children, cinderella, commentary, disney, gay, hannah montana, miley cyrus, parenting, pocahontas, psychology, rapunzel)
Walt Disney just released concept art for a CG film adaptation of Rapunzel, which prompted me to think about the role the company plays in the current American psyche. The message of so many recent Disney products has been, I feel, muddled and in conflict with other projects that were created just to be vehicles for promising young performers.
Take Hannah Montana, for instance. Miley Cyrus’ character repeatedly reinforces the concept of hiding oneself in a false persona. Granted, it’s for purposes of avoiding throngs of stampeding fans, but the message is the same: it’s okay to have a double personality. While this could be considered as a positive message in the context of acceptance for those with mental illnesses, in this case she makes a conscious choice to fragment herself, denying herself the happiness and stability which comes with whole personhood. Now, contrast this with Sharpay’s brother in High School Musical. Instead of fragmenting his personality, he just is never acknowledged as what he really is: a gay teenager. This juxtaposition communicates to children that hiding yourself from fame, something regarded as positive in our society, is okay, but hiding yourself from homosexuality is not — instead, you should not even acknowledge it. Which is kind of mind-boggling, as one would think something considered positive would want to be openly and unabashedly reinforced.
Classic Disney was all about embracing undervalued aspects of one’s personality. Pocahontas glorified the naturalistic world-view of Native Americans, introducing children to a different belief system and a host of worldly spirits. Cinderella taught children to embrace their true selves, regardless of their current station in life; be a princess, even if you’re temporarily scrubbing floors. It will be interesting to see how the upcoming Princess and the Frog enters into this discourse, especially as Disney’s first black princess spends so little of the film in that form. Disney has always been about a decade behind the curve of acceptance, not wanting to alienate the conservative families which powerfully support their enterprise. But wouldn’t it be nice to expect something more of the people on whom many of our childhoods were built?
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